"...But there grows up, all unconsciously, a hidden habit of soul which feels complacency in its attainments. It cannot help seeing how far it is in advance of others." - Andrew Murray
I have been recently struggling with feeling that, in this way or that, I am so far behind in my walk with Christ: in true love, true joy, true wisdom. Sometimes I see the same struggles in my friends and I wonder: "Is the Christian life supposed to be marked by this sort of constant feeling of failure? It seems like life under the law again!" Yet, I know that often, in the times when I don't feel this sort of struggle, I am feeling the opposite: a smug `peacefulness' at "seeing how far it is in advance of others". How can we, as a people called to pursue Holiness, prevent ourselves from falling into shame and hopelessness, all the while avoiding the subtle pride that creeps in along with growth?
Maybe the question is wrong, and that we are not supposed to pursue holiness. Holiness is not the goal. It is a side effect, a surprising bonus, of the journey that God is taking us on. What is the goal then? I'm not sure, but maybe it is to simply enjoy the journey with our dear Savior and to fall ever more in love with him. When we face temptations, we fight (and valiantly!), but not for Holiness, but because of the One for whom we fight, the One who started us on this beautiful journey.
I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. - John 14:5
